LeetleKid.com

Indoor loser. This lovely nickname is given by a very special friend of mine, whom I have known one year ago. Of course, she was just kidding when she said that but it seems this name suits me perfectly well now.

What’s so special about her? This could be the most difficult question to answer, but these are the few things I can tell:

• She has a very good command of English, despite her background as a independent school student.

• She is intelligent. It doesn’t necessary mean she is doing very well in her studies, but she’s a relatively mature and rational girl compare to her peers. Sometimes I really felt like talking to a girl 5 years older than me.

• She is straightforward, I got hurt several times and I felt insulted after receiving her comments. But funny enough that’s the thing she seemed to have attracted me.

• She’s not really considered pretty, but I like it. And I believe that she has a very good fashion sense, despite another good friend of mine claimed otherwise.

Other than what have been mentioned above, she and myself both agreed that we got good chemistry. My weird attitude is the main reason why I’m just “incompatible” with so many girls, but when I talk to her, I can really see the difference. I have no idea but every little thing she said could possibly affect my mood.

In fact, when I was told that she had ever considered two guys, I was one of them. What about the other guy? I don’t know much about that guy… He knew her earlier than me, I just felt that the guy is given more chances, and he always has the more important position in her heart. Even I tried to pretend as a gentleman many times, I couldn’t help but feel jealous, and many arguments had been triggered because of that.

There are several times in which I decided to let go this relationship in order not to put her into a difficult situation, but things are always easier said than done (always, I tell you). This idea came into my mind many times and eventually got cancelled.

And you know what? Ironically, when I was talking to her yesterday about him in messenger, she apologized to me several times without any reason, and I finally learned that she has made her decision to go for him. To be frank, I really expected this, but the “soon-ness” of the announcement struck me by surprise. According to her, the main reason I’m not chosen is that, she felt that I haven’t really fought for it. While feeling really hurt, my explanation was that I’ve not been given as much opportunities compare to the guy… it’s just very much like a chicken and egg situation.

Regarding whether I’m okay now, yes. I’m totally fine. Yesterday I couldn’t sleep particularly well but it was a calm and normal 年初一 night after all. The main reason behind my calmness is simply because her announcement was expected, although it was too early for me. She told me she wanted everything to be the same as before, I’m not sure if this can be achieved, but I’ll just try. Meanwhile, I wish her all the best (to her: you don’t have to feel sorry for anything, just remember about what I said yesterday, don’t take things for granted and practice caution all the time, even that he’s your most trusted person)

This write-up does not make me a outdoor winner, but I feel a sense of relief after completing it - at least, the deadlock has been broken, and it’s probably a call for me to focus in some other things as well.

See ya everyone